


Rum and Matchmaking

by Habie



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 06:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Habie/pseuds/Habie
Summary: Barry meets the most beautiful person he's ever seen at a party he couldn't have wanted to be at less.





	Rum and Matchmaking

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one my contribution to the TAZ secret santa!! My person mentioned liking AUs and this college AU idea sprung to mind. I hope they liked it!! :X It will have chapter 2 soon!

Barry leaned against the wall in the corner near the trash, watching the dark mixture of soda and booze swirl around in his red solo cup. Parties weren’t his forte. Crowds weren’t his forte. The people he actually knew abandoning him in social situations weren’t his forte. He wasn’t sure anymore why he was here or when it would be appropriate to leave, but he was absolutely positive that he was going to drink enough of their liquor to make the walk over from his dorm worth it. Barry drained his cup in two gulps, mixed another something-and-soda, stronger this time than the last, and wandered out of the kitchen. Someone he knew had to be around here somewhere.

He found the living room quickly enough and an empty spot on a couch to squeeze in, awkwardly trying to both draw as little attention to himself as possible and make himself seem like an approachable and not-at-all very anxious attendee of this frat party.‘Come to this party, they said. It’ll be a good way to meet people, they said,’ Barold thought bitterly, sipping at his drink in silence.

Barry had come to college months before and was doing fine at meeting people, thank you very much. He’d become passingly friendly with at least three other students who hung out around the music building at roughly the same times as him and wasn’t un-sociable with his roommate. Besides those solid attempts at real communication with other sentient members of society, Barry had fallen into a small study group of other freshman biology students who he was pretty sure he could start referring to as friends. After all, they had at some point reached the ‘drag poor Barry to an uncomfortable drinking party’ point in their relationship.

But once they had arrived they’d more or less scattered. And now here he was, in some random frat house, a few awkward drinks in. He’d probably have left by now - there were finals to study for and at least one paper to write - but the weather was abysmal. A cold wet mixture of snow and slush that made him him want to walk back to his dorm just a little bit less than he wanted to be awkwardly squeezed on a gross couch in a loud house.

Barry texted the friends he’d come with.

**Where are you guys?**

And when nobody responded he sighed into his solo cup and resigned himself to people-watching.

It wasn’t fun.

As it turned out, being tipsy and watching other tipsy people yell only semi-coherently wasn’t terribly enjoyable and Barry was contemplating leaving altogether, braving the bad weather and calling it an early night in his own room when the most beautiful person he had ever seen came in through the front door.

They were all long features and bleach blonde hair and a cocky smirk, listening to a story that their very animated, slightly taller friend seemed to be telling.

Barry looked down at his empty cup and then back up at the stranger, still very near the exit, now taking off their jacket and saying something while dumping it in the taller friend’s arms. They split up, walking in different directions across the house and Barry let his gaze follow.

He was out of drink. He could go make a refill and just…. hang out some more. But he was so ready to leave not a minute ago and Barry knew himself well enough to recognize that his chances of purposefully speaking to a gorgeous complete stranger was roughly equivalent to zilch. He should just go back to his own building, drink a bunch of water, and wake up ready to study the next morning.

Barry found himself refilling his cup less than two minutes later and trying not to obviously search as he walked through the party with his newly topped off whatever-he’d-mixed. But he couldn’t find that stranger again - or the guy they had come in with and… ‘This is stupid,’ Barry told himself. ‘I’m being stupid and I’m going to go home as soon as I finish this … what did I even make?’

“Looking for someone, doll?”

Barry jumped, his mostly full cup falling from his hand and hitting the ground with a large, wet sound that made him want to flee in embarrassment and dread.

“Ooo, yikes,” the same voice said from to his right, and Barry turned to see the person he had not at all been obviously checking out. “That’s a big ‘ol mess, my guy. Might I suggest walking away from this are as fast as you can?”

Barry nodded almost manically and speed-walked from the room and through the next one. He meant to make a beeline for the door, but shit that was back in the direction he’d come from and now he was farther into the house and there _must_ be a backdoor and he should have left an hour ago what was he thinking and when did he get this drunk he had felt fine - well mostly fine - when he was sitting down and this was a gigantic disaster.

“Look, I don’t to give you the impression that I like… give a shit. But for what it’s worth with literally one exception every single person who lives here is a giant tool and you shouldn’t feel bad about making a mess of their kitchen floor. That will be the LEAST gross thing that floor sees tonight.”

This guy continued to be beautiful even close up and Barry couldn’t begin to figure out why he’d purposefully start this conversation at all let alone-

“Are you mute or something?”

“What? Oh-uh no!” Barry babbled as the other guy smirked and cocked an eyebrow.

“Just weird then.”

“NO! I JUST - I mean. I guess I’m embarrassed? Or something?”

“Hmmm, yeah. That makes sense when somebody catches you staring at them, huh?”

“I- I wasn’t!”

“Mmmhm”

“I wasn’t!”

“No? Should I let Magnus know you were checking him out then? I bet it would make his day.”

“NO!” Barry felt his face burning in embarrassment, almost certain that he was red back to his ears.

“Look dude - what’s your name anyway?”

“BAROLD!”

“Shit, Bar, take it down a notch.

“Sorry,”

“Rad, perfect. Barry, then. Hi, I’m Taako, and lucky for you I am an absolute glutton for attention and I _love_ this whole... befuddled enamored ...thing you’re doing right now. So why don’t you calm down a little and just talk to me like a normal friggin person?”

That wasn’t Barry’s strong-suit but he nodded excitedly nonetheless.

“Faaantastic. You need another drink, my guy.”

**

Taako could not stop laughing, and once Magnus had found him - being chatted up by a much shorter man in a red hoodie - he was laughing almost as hard as he could, too.

Barold was not smooth. His ability to flirt was non-existent and began and ended with piling on compliments between bouts of yammering about about classes. But it was endearing and he was genuinely funny when he stopped being too nervous to talk. Taako was quietly please to see how good his new friend was at pool, claiming something or another about it all being math and geometry. It was good information to file away for later, for next time he found himself making deceptively good bets in seedy college town dive bars. Magnus just appreciated how _nice_ their new friend was. Taako wasn’t known for attracting or approaching nice people, and yet here Barry was.

“I think he passed out,” Magnus pointed to Taako’s side, Barry was leaning on the blonde, his cheek smooshed up against Taako’s arm a little bit, throwing his glasses off kilter.

“Shit, yeah. Lookit that,” Taako wasn’t totally sure how he’d missed a person putting their entire dead weight on him, but there Barry was. Quietly snoring away in a mostly-standing position in the middle of a pre-holidays pre-finals house party that was getting quickly more rowdy and raucous. “Should we wake him up or something?”

“Nah,” Magnus shrugged. Let’s just drag him up to my room. I’m not sure this guy could even tell us what building he lives in right now.”

**

Barry knew he was hungover before he opened his eyes. He felt like he was on a tilting, spinning carnival ride, and his mouth felt dry, and his stomach was threatening and even before he moved he knew getting up or opening his eyes was going to be a problem for him so he very carefully and very purposefully didn’t move and slowly cracked just one eyelid.

And he had no idea where he was.

The bed wasn’t his and neither was the room and the two people he found himself in a loose puppy pile _definitely_ weren’t either his roommate. ‘How hard did I party and what the shit did I do?’ he berated himself, rolling over and sliding onto the floor. His shoes were by the door with his phone sticking out of one of them, the notification light blinking. Barry crawled over to it and clicking the screen to life, groaning a little at the brightness of the screen and getting even dizzier while attempting to read the series of replies his friends had finally sent sometime between when he passed out and now.

Barry turned the screen off instead of replying and slid the phone back into his pocket before struggling with his sneakers, grumbling to himself in frustration.

“Peacing out?”

Barry turned slowly toward the voice. Apparently Taako had woken up to notice the departure.

“Uh yeah. I … Uh…” talking hurt more than it should have.

“Where do you live man?” Taako reached for his own phone to check the time. “I should head out of here, too.”

“Just down the hell. Hill. Down the hill.”

“Oh heck yeah, I’ll walk with you. Actually, you know what you need? Fatty food and coffee. Let’s get breakfast.”

Taako was already up and active and chiper and Barry wanted to kill him. But he was also terrible at saying no and despite the headache and the strong desire to throw up Taako was still ridiculously good looking and still willing to talk to him. “Uh. Sure? Dining hall or-”

“Nah, dude. Diner. Let’s go.”

**

It was a slightly longer walk, but the weather was much better in the morning - or very early afternoon, whatever.

After Barry threw up in some random campus shrubbery and Taako handed him a blue sports drink that he’d swiped from the house fridge he was feeling at least a little better; but reading the menu was officially impossible so Barry ordered generic breakfast foods on auto-pilot and guzzled the ice water that he didn’t notice being placed in front of him.

“Guessing you don’t party often.”

Barry shook his head and groaned. “Ohhhh my god, no. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Yeah you looked like lost puppy last night. How did you end up there?”

“Went with some friends. They promised it would be fun. Fuckin’ liars.”

“Fuckin. Liars,” Taako agreed, taking a glump from his coffee. “Worked out, though. You ended up hanging with the two best people there.”

“Hah, yeah. Do you live there, or-”

“Hell no. Mags does, but that whole… thing is not my bag for more than four or five hours _tops_.”

Barry chuckled in agreement. “Ok, question.”

“Shoot.”

“How did I end up in a bed with the two of you. Is that…. I dunno, normal party stuff or…”

Taako shrugged. “You didn’t seem like you were going to walk home in one piece and the floor is uncomfortable. And Mags is snuggly.”

“I mean I don’t want to come between - I don’t want to cause any problems-”

“Yeah, no. You’re good on that front, my man. He’s not nearly relentlessly complimentary enough to keep up with me,” Taako smirked mischievously.

Barry cringed. This had taken a very sudden left turn into embarrassing. “Look. About that-”

“Mmmhm?”

“I’m not normally that forward-”

“You don’t say.”

“And you seem really cool and you’re ridiculously, stupidly good looking,”

“Both true.”

“But something about this - I mean - I don’t think you’re…. This is really awkward.”

“Nah it’s fine, my dude. You’re not _really_ my type, either.”

Barry wasn’t sure if that stung or if he was relieved or if breakfast had just become immediately more uncomfortable, but Taako didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest as their food appeared.

“Ok, but I must know what your type _is_ since it’s apparently not beautiful and amazing,” Taako said through a full mouth.

Barry laughed nervously but his companion kept staring at him expectantly. “Ohyou’reserious. Um… I guess nerdy and funny and confident enough for the two of us.”

Taako tapped on the table lightly. “Mmhm. Follow up question: are you into women?”

“What? I-”

“You were flirting with me all night, dude. It’s a fair question.”

“Right. True. Yeah, I am.”

“Hella,” Taako pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped something out on the screen before putting it down on the table.

“What was-”

“I know who you’re looking for.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I know your perfect person.”

“You’ve known me for twelve hours. And I was intoxicated or passed out for nine of them.”

“Yeah, but I got a pretty good picture, my guy. You talk a LOT when you’re drunk.” Barry stared at him. “Don’t worry, it’s cute.”

Taako picked up his cellphone when the indicator light began to flash a moment later. “So, Barold, when are you free?”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come be my friend on Tumblr at CallMeHabie, Instagram at Habie_Cosplays & Twitter at Habie_Cosplays. Tell me the fic sent you, I'll love it!


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